New Year Resolution

It's almost the end of 2011, can you believe it?! This year has been probably the best year I have ever had. It has had it's ups and downs, but the ups far out weighed the downs. I have lost 30lbs in a year! I have found the most amazing man I could ever dream of! I am happier than I have ever been in my life for soo many reasons! What is there to complain about?

Lately I have been a bit down on myself though I will admit. I have fallin off the horse in terms of exercising, tracking what I eat, and just making healthy choices all around. It all started back in October when I hit a slump and couldn't pull myself out of it before November came around and I was gone the entire month. Then there is the holidays and the temptation of all the goodies and treats sometimes (okay was basically all of the time) won and I enjoyed them. There were more sweets and treats at work, it was ridiculous! But it was more than just that, it was that I wasn't exercising and when I was wishing I was sitting my butt down doing nothing. I just haven't been able to get my head back into the game for whatever reason. I know this is going to be a long battle my whole life and I need to get back into the lifestyle so it becomes a habit again. That is the easiest way. However, they say it takes 30 days of doing something the "right" way for it to be come a habit (or something like that). If that is the truth than hopefully by the end of January I will be back at it with a positive attitude. Fake it until you make it right?! haha!

This morning I received an email from a great friend that really inspired me. I've talked about her many times in my blog, and I know that without her this journey would be that much harder! Anyway, she reminded me to look at the small victories even if they typically wouldn't be "normal" victories. She told me to look at how much I was gone in November and I didn't gain that much at all! My routine has been completely upside down since October and it hasn't effected my overall number that much. If this was last year or the year before it would have been much much worse. I should be proud of that. I look at it and I do smile, but it may take a couple of days of telling myself that it's a victory to truly believe it. However, her telling me this, her words of encouragement that it's not as bad as I make it out in my head is amazing! It's funny how someone else can pull you out of your own head and take a step back and look at it differently, yet you try to do that a million times and just can't.

I am looking forward to 2012! I am going to start a new training program on Monday, January 2nd that gets me ready to run a 15K. I have never run that far in my entire life! It's a challenge and one that I am ready for and excited about. However, I would be lying to say I wasn't nervous and a bit scared about it. My life will also slow down a bit, I think, come the beginning of the year. There will be some big changes later on in the year I am sure of it, however, for now it's just going to be calm and quiet and I am going to live in that moment for now. Come the start of the New Year it is back to one day at a time and getting back on track. I know everyone has New Year's resolutions about exercising more, or losing weight, however the part they are missing is something they can measure, something tangible they can hold onto and that is what I am setting today. My New Year's Resolution is to take getting back on track seriously, Track at least Monday-Friday when I am at work and it is the easiest. Upkeep my blog more regularly and set aside time to write it at least 4 times a week. I am not going to be focused on the scale and the number for a while, I am going to focus one something I can control and that is sticking to my training schedule for my 15K everyday just like it is written, tracking my food, and making healthy choices in my life. These are things I can control and measure that those are my New Year's Resolutions!

BTW - I am in Charlotte and my boyfriend is at work so I am off to work out! Go me! :)

I'm in a funk...

Yesterday I was really really bad at lunch! I actually felt a bit sick afterwards which hasn't happened in a long time. You see we had a Company Holiday Pot-Luck. The Execs bought the meats, and everyone else brought something else in. I brought in cookies, Red Velvet Crinkle Cookies which were delicious! There was a million things to try and I think I tried them all. In fact i even went back for seconds. Yes I was only taking little bits of each but with that many it was a ton of food. I can't believe I ate as much as I did. I mean I can't even log it all it was just a hodge-podge of food. I think I am just going to put some ridiculous # and call it a day. The worst part is I ate dinner and God knows I didn't need to, but I was hungry some how!?!?!?!!
Today I am suppose to go run at 4pm. I really don't want to but I know I NEED TO! It's definitely going to be one of those days I literally drag my ass out there and make myself work out. We'll see how it goes. I'm not expecting much.

Okay so if you can't tell I am definitely struggling right now. I don't know why but I just can't find the motivation to get my butt back into gear. I don't know what is wrong with me. I would rather sit on my but and just do nothing which isn't really like me. Maybe after these holidays I can get out of my funk. We'll see....

Just Stay Positive...

Well this morning I couldn't help but feel disappointed when I step on the scale and it read 168.0lbs! SERIOUSLY?!! I actually got off and got back on to just make sure it read it correctly. I am hoping that I ate too much salt or something yesterday and it is all water weight. How did I gain 3.2lbs?!!?
Well I started to think about what I ate this weekend. I wasn't the best I have to admit, but I wasn't terrible by any stretch of the imagination. Granted I didn't track yesterday, and the worst part is I thought about it, I just never acted upon the thought. Here's what happened:

Friday night I had pizza and beer. I knew I was going to and so I accounted for it and stayed within my calorie count! Yay me! Planning is always a great thing! :) I was relaxing with my sister, watched 2 movies and around 11pm was getting ready for bed when I had a knock on my door - My Boyfriend Surprised Me!!! It was a FABULOUS surprise and I had a great weekend! It completely changed any plans I had, but I had no problem with that. Saturday morning we met a friend for brunch at a local place that serves Mexican Brunch. I had 3 bloody Marias and split this egg, black bean, potato, chorizo, and pico de gallo all on a tortilla. It comes with 2 but I split it with my sister. Of course I had chips and salsa too because there is NO part of me not eating chips and salsa if it is there to enjoy. I did however shortly after this take a 2 hour walk on the beach which was fabulous! I felt sooo much better afterwards. that evening I had a garden side salad and 1/2 a cheeseburger with some fries. Of Course my plate they doubled the fries for whatever reason. haha - oh lord! I was good I didn't eat any more than a serving. I just left them all there. I had a beer with dinner and another one later on that evening too. Okay I did intake a lot of calories Saturday but oh well.

Sunday we met his parent's for brunch at 10am. I ate an omelet with mostly veggies, no cheese and just a little bit of sausage. I also had a tiny waffle, some grits, 1 piece of bacon, 1 sausage link, and some breakfast hash with a bloody mary. That filled me p for quite a long time. Dinner around 7 was 2 slices of the White Pizza from Friday night. I made Red Velvet Crinkle Cookies (found the recipe from a blog I follow - Macaroni and Cheesecake) for a work Holiday Pot Luck Party today. I only ate 1 cookie, but I did eat a lot of dough. I couldn't hep myself but now I am kinda pissed. I had about an ounce or 2 of red wine too. I also snacked on banana peppers and pickles that I had just bought. I have a weakness for those, so I am not sure why I buy them.

I also made a 12lb turkey. I planned on making it on Saturday but with my boyfriend being in town that went out the window. However, since I forgot I had to make the cookies, and I didn't want to rick the cookies having a turkey taste, I did them first so the turkey was cooked late last night. It will be for dinner tonight. Hopefully tonight, turkey, green beans, and potatoes will be a good one for the books today. The problem is the pot luck today at work. It is going to be a TON of food. Well here goes nothing today. BLAH!

Today's goal is to stay positive and just be happy about how wonderful last weekend was with my boyfriend! What a great unexpected surprise!!! :)

Cheating?

I was thinking last night that I really need to jump 2 feet into this! I am sorta "cheating" through making it look like I am. I am running again, tracking, but not putting my best effort forward.I am faking my way through my motivation right now and just making myself do it. I am hoping that it will eventually become natural again and be genuine.
This thinking process all started with I submitted my diary for the day on MFP and I was under my calorie count, however, I made 3 batches of fudge last nigh and boy did I do some finger licking good cheating. Licked the spatula, bowl, mixer, etc! None of which was tracked. I wouldn't even know where to begin to track that, but still, I felt like I cheated when my tracker said I was under.

I was proud of myself for finishing the diary on the day it was for, instead of finishing it the morning after. Little steps I guess to get myself back on track. Today I am having pizza and beer for dinner with a movie, so I need to make sure my lunch is low to accommodate for that. Also I need  to work out to also give me a few extra calories, however, my foot hurts today. I think we I fell on Tuesday I did something to it, but I am just not feeling it until today. I'm not sure. It's back on my heel. I am having an internal battle on whether I should give it rest or not, and the struggle is me wondering if I am using it as an excuse not to work out. Am I just looking for a way out? It does really hurt though today just walking. I don't know I have 2 hours to figure it out.

Well it's almost the weekend and I CAN NOT WAIT! I haven't had a weekend "off" since October and I can't wait to do nothing!! I haven't had a weekend to myself in so long that I am truly looking forward to it. I'll let you know how it goes and if I get my lazy butt off that couch and do something.

PS - yesterday when I started running the first song that played was Monkey Wrench - thought that was hysterical given yesterday's blog - Holidays are the Monkey Wrench. IRONIC!

Have a wonderful weekend everyone! Talk to you next week. :)

Holidays are the Monkey Wrench

Let me tell you holidays just throw a monkey wrench into everything! At work everyone is getting gifts from vendors and there is more food and sweets than anyone needs. Every corner you turn there is something yummy to eat. I have been pretty good, but yesterday there were these chocolate chunk brownies and I just couldn't stay away. They were organic and somehow I convinced myself that that made them "okay" and "healthy" for me to eat! hahaha! There are also LOTS of parties and they all have yummy foods and drinks. 2 nights in a row this week I have had something to go to. Each had little apps and drinks and that is what set me over! Last night I knew I had right at 600 calories left but I went over by 200 still. I didn't get to work out yesterday which definitely hurt because I would have been under if I had. Oh well nothing I can do about it now. The only thing I can do is today I WILL work out during my lunch hour, and do everything in my power to stay under.

These holidays need to just get over so I can get back to my normal routine. I love them don't get me wrong but they really monkey wrench things and when you are trying to get back on the horse, it is definitely a hard time to do so. My strong will is just going to really have to take over and quickly!!!

Enjoy your Thursday!

When you Fall just get up!

Well I tracked EVERYTHING yesterday and was over by a 300+. However, I am proud of myself for tracking. Granted I didn't finish entering everything until this morning, including dinner which I am pretty sure is why I didn't stay within my number. I should have done dinner before I went to this Clothing Swap party that way I knew how many calories I had left and could spare, but that's not what I did. Oh well. The part that was good is that I did keep track of exactly what I ate. I didn't just put stuff in my mouth and forget about it. I was proud of myself for that. :)  At least I did run yesterday so I got a few calories that added on so it wasn't nearly as big of a over as it could have been. The funny part was that the number that showed up as to how much I could weight if I had exact same days for a month was lower than I am now, therefore it was still a plus in my book! haha!

So funny story yesterday I went outside to run by myself and just had started to run after my 5 minute warm-up and about 10 steps in I ate it and fell down completely! I am going to have a fantastic strawberry on my leg. The funny part, I have a new iPhone and it went flying out of hand and fell to the ground. I was more worries about my phone than I was myself! haha! Good news is that my case worked and kept it safe, no damage - YAY! As for myself, as you can see from the picture nothing terrible, just some scrapes and definitely an incoming strawberry. One small NSV was that I could have just turned around and said screw this after my fall since I seriously was at the beginning, but instead I got up, brushed myself off and kept going. I ran the longest I have in a really long time. Total distance with the 5 minute warm-up and down was 35 minutes for 2.9 miles. I finished and as dorky as this may sound I was proud of myself because it was a good analogy for the way I have been lately - I fell (got off track) and now I have just gotten back up and kept running!

Today I won't be getting in a work out, as there was no part of me getting up early before work (in fact I didn't roll out of bed until 7:10 and I leave at 7:35), I have a lunch meeting, and then I have a social tonight directly after work for a group I am part of. The only thing is maybe I could go for a swim after that, but I don't know, we will see how I feel at like 7-7:30 when I leave tonight.

Well here's to a good Wednesday and hoping the 2nd half of this week goes by A LOT faster than the first!

Going for 2 for 2

Well it's day #2 this week and day #1 was successful so yay 1 for 1! Goal for today is to make it 2 for 2! Yesterday I tracked all my food and I exercised, it was a good day! Even better was the small victories I had that I want to share. While running yesterday I was only going to do 30 minutes total, 5 minutes warm-up, 20 minutes slogg, 5 minutes warm-down. I got through half of the slog and I decided to finish it through to 25 minutes. I was on the treadmill and had it on 5.0 and was just going. The last 5 minutes I upped it to 5.1 an the last minute 5.4. I really wanted to stop around 6 minutes left total, but I pushed myself and I was glad afterwards. I really surprised myself in running that long. It wasn't very fast but I just kept on going. Today I am running outside so I am curious on how well I can do.

The other small victory was yesterday after work I came home and ate dinner. I was done by 6pm. Around 6:45 I left my house to run errands and finish up my Christmas shopping. First temptation was at Walmart, all the candies and things I wanted to buy to munch on but knew better. Then I was at the mall from about 7:45 to 9:30. There was the Auntie Anne's Pretzels, the food court with pizza and other goodies that smell good, and then ice cream too. I wanted sooo bad to get something as it had been about 3 hours at this point since I ate so I was starting to get a tad hungry again, but I didn't buy anything I could eat. I walked out of there and even turned down a free sample at one of the oriental places. I know it's not huge but I was really proud of myself!

Today I am working out at 4pm and then going to a clothing swap party tonight at 6:30. I am actually really excited about it as it is a great way to "go shopping" and not spend anything! :) I went through my closet last night and just about everything that doesn't fit anymore because it is too big, or things I haven't really worm in forever, plus a couple of pairs of shoes were all taken out of closet. tonight whatever doesn't get taken is getting donated! NOTHING is going back in my closet. I don't want to let myself think it will be okay to gain weight again because I have the clothes to fit into so no biggie! NO I am purging myself of the larger sizes! It was a great feeling to see that the pile was quite large! Hopefully I will get something cute tonight!! :)

Here's to a great Tuesday!

Stepping Stones

Okay not off to the greatest start in December I have to admit. The first goal I set for myself last week, logging the rest of the month failed after Thursday last week. Friday my sister graduated from college and I had family that came into town Thursday evening so that just threw off my whole weekend completely. I need to be better though about tracking regardless. I use to be and I need to get back in the habit. I am not going to beat myself up for it, but instead do something in the positive today like track and exercise.

Oh ya that's another area that I screwed up last week - exercise! My fat ass completely forgot about working out once I saw food and I didn't even realize it until about half way through my lunch. Here's what happened. I brought my workout bag intending to workout. Then our department decided to order in lunch because of a long meeting in the afternoon. I went to go get it and brought it back. My initial thoughts were bring it back, go work out and then eat my salad. Ya I got back handing out the food and then sat down and opened up my salad and dug right in. It wasn't until I was about half way through my salad that I realized I had completely forgotten about my workout. Oh well! I needed to do it but whatever.

Today I am planning on working out. It's raining so it will be inside which is a bit on a bummer but that's okay. I also brought a great salad with leftover grilled shrimp on top. Definitely looking forward to it! :) The goal today is to work out and stay under my calorie count. I am going to take it 1 day at a time and do stepping stones back to where I need to be!

Happy Monday!

Good things on its way!

So HOLY SORENESS! From my run on Tuesday my legs are burning on fire, but it's a good burn so it makes me happy. I knew it would be bad when just a few hours, like 2 or something like that I was already starting to feel it. It makes you be mad at yourself for ever stopping because you wouldn't be feeling this way if you hadn't stopped. Oh well, it is what it is! Today I am going to run again and am excited about it. I bet it won't be as good as last time since I am sore, but I am going for it. It is chilly today so that might help. It was so nice to run outside on Tuesday. It was the first time I have run outside since Spring. It is sooo much better running outside than on that stupid treadmill. I am running towards something and have a physical goal to reach, the wind, the smells of outdoors, it's all wonderful and makes running that much better. Hopefully today I will say the same thing after wards. :)

So switching subjects completely I did something last week that I am going to make a staple in my life from this point forward. It's a great idea and I hope if you read this you will to. Thursday night last week we went to this amazing restaurant in New Orleans, OMG it was fabulous! Well it was too much food in the end and I had plenty left on my plate. Typically if I am at home that baby is boxed up and I enjoy it again for lunch the next day, however, being that it was a business trip and I wasn't at home I didn't ask for a box right away like I normally do. One of my fellow colleagues asked for a box and I looked at him funny and asked him where he intended on keeping it and eating it? He said he wasn't, he was going to give it to a homeless person to enjoy. I instantly thought that was a fabulous idea and asked to have mine boxed up as well. On the way back to the hotel I gave it to someone and he started eating it immediately. I wasn't going to eat it and it was just going to go in the trash so why not let someone else that is less fortunately enjoy a meal?! From now on when I am not at home or a place where I can save the meal for another use, I am still going to box it and give it to someone else to enjoy!

It also makes me think that I really should start doing that trick that when you order your food, ask for a box with it and immediately box half of it so it is off your plate and you can't eat it! Most restaurants serve you double at least of the serving sizes recommended. Plus not only do you eat less, but you are getting 2 meals for the price of 1! hahaha! :)

PS - Today is my "Friday" as my sister graduates from college tomorrow and I will be attending that, therefore I won't have time to post. Have a great weekend!

December WILL BE MY MONTH!!

WOW it has been quite some time since I wrote a blog. I have actually really missed it and glad that my life is slowing back down a bit where writing these will again become feasible.

My last month or so has been insane! Since November 10th through December 3rd I was only at my house for a total of like 3.5 days! I went to Texas for my best friend's wedding, which I have to say was absolutely BEAUTIFUL! The amazing part is she did everything herself! The vision she had came through flawlessly that you would have thought a professional did it. It was quaint and cute and so her and he now husband. I met some great people and saw others I adore and haven't seen in a while. However, you know how weddings go when you come from out of town and are in the wedding, it's a whirlwind of a weekend! I spent more time traveling I think than I did with her but it was soooooo worth it! Next home for a day and half and then off to Seattle for 6 days with travel. That is a gorgeous part of the country! It was a lot of work since I went to set up a tradeshow booth and tear it down. I got to meet a lot of people I have been working with for over a year now, but have never actually met. I took a little bit of time for myself on Friday while I was there and saw the city. Took an underground tour (a must if you go), took myself to lunch on the water, walked around Pike's Place Market, and then watched the sun set from the Space Needle with a glass of wine in my hand, it was the perfect Date with Seattle! Got back home and had 2 days before I drive to VA with my sister to my parent's house for Thanksgiving where 13 people were staying including us. It was crazy but such great fun and joyful to see my family. I flew from VA to New Orleans for 6 days for another tradeshow, the largest one we do each year. That was the most stressful week ever! Everything that could go wrong seemed to go wrong, but I made it work in the long run, however, lost a lot of sleep while doing it. Finally Saturday on my way home I got to have a layover in Charlotte! I had asked for the longest layover possible when making the reservation, which was 3 hours, but when I got there I found a squirrely little USAir rep and got him to put me on the 8:10pm flight for free and that got me 7 hours with my boyfriend! It was a great afternoon and a great way to end this insane travel time!

The problem with all of this is that about 3 weeks prior to this things started to get crazy too and I haven't worked out at least since then, eating habits kinda got thrown out the window, and there was no tracking of food either with MFP. Looking back though I am happy to say that my choices weren't terrible or as bad as they use to be before I started this journey. I only gained 3 lbs during this whole time - well let's put it this way, it was 3 lbs on Monday, during the time it probably fluctuate, but that's what is said at the end and what I am going with! I was pleasantly surprised to see the small increase and that made things definitely easier to wrap my mind around getting back on track!

Yesterday I tracked my entire day for the 1st time in a long long time and I also exercised! I went for a "slog" as I call it - my version of running, a slow job hence "slog". I just recently got the new iPhone and download the Nike + app, fantastic $1.99 spent! I really enjoyed the app and excited to continue to use it. I would really recommend it if you have a phone that can support it. It keeps track of your total time, your time for the last mile you ran, and the avg speed you ran it at, how far you have run, everything! There is a voice that speaks to your too while you are running to keep you updated with all that info. You can also connect it with facebook and it will post that you are currently running and people can cheer for you while you are running or make comments and then it will let you know by making cheering noises or reading the comment to you. I think that is really neat. Plus it posts your progress, which some people may not like but that is a option you can turn off. I like it because is follows my Public Honesty kick that I am on. Unfortunately I can't run during my lunch hour today, I have an errand I have to run instead. Oh well, there is always tomorrow!

Well I set a goal for myself this month - track EVERY DAY! I need to get back on track and that is a goal I know I can achieve. I also have to start running again. I am going to participate in my 1st 15K in March, which is the longest run I have ever done before, and I start a training program Jan. 1st. It starts with 2 miles and I want to start off right. I did 2.15 miles yesterday total. I walked at the beginning to warm up and then the end, and ran without stopping in the middle. I probably did around 1.75-8 miles running which just was a prove to myself moment I can do the 2 miles and get on track this month!

Here's to December as MY month!!!!