Internal Battle - I win! :)

I was quiet this weekend (no posts) which I do apologize for, but I think I know why. I was definitely embarrassed by going over my calories and slipping up a bit. But in the long run this weekend was a learning experience for me. I had a bit of an internal battle, but I came out finding inner balance and learned something I think is going to be very valuable.


1st Reason for Being Quiet!:
Friday I went over my calorie count by 1000+! It was all in dinner too and even more specific, the appetizer! OOPS! I was really hungry and when the sampler of bbq wings, southwestern eggrolls, cheese sticks, and chicken fingers came out, there was no amount of will power that was going to be able to keep my hands crossed in my lap. 1 wing, 3 egg rolls, 2 cheese sticks and 1.5 chicken tenders (all sauces included) = 1025 calories later! I was even good and when I ordered the burger too. (it was free and why we went to Ruby Tuesday) I got it on a wheat bun, no mayo, w/swiss cheese instead of american and my 2 sides were grilled zucchini and tomatoes. I planned on only eating half of the burger anyway so it wasn't going to kill me and I was going to be under my calorie limit with the exercise. I actually felt really bad that night about going so far over. Then to top it all off I got Dove Unconditional Chocoloate Ice Cream at Publix by giving into my sweet tooth. 280 calories per 1/2 cup! First I must say OMG THAT WAS AMAZING ICE CREAM! Second, went to bed feeling guilty.

2nd Reason for Being Quiet!:
I woke up the next day at noon and actually didn't know how many calories I had eaten the day before with all the extras (app and ice cream) so I entered it into MyFitnessPal, right after I ate the other half of my burger for lunch and another 1/2 cup of the Dove ice cream of course. I was shocked at the numbers and that is when the battle began, I really started to feel bad for going over that much the day before and letting myself start off again that way for lunch on Saturday. I had been working really hard, and dropping weight and then I go and do that!?!? I decided to head to the YMCA and do something about it. I got on to the treadmill and plugged in my age, weight, and time and off I went. I am doing this thing where I do a 5 minute warm up and then repeat these 5 minute cycles of 2 minutes of running where I push it and 3 minutes of fast walking for X amount of times and finish up with a 5 minute cool down. It's a great workout! The most I had ever done was 6 cycles, 40 minutes total so I plugged in 45 minutes. I started going and I saw the calories start adding up; my motivation was work that burger you just ate off, so I upped the total minutes to 60. It was great though because I was next to my sister and that really helped! I started thinking while I was running that you know what, big deal that I ate all those calories yesterday, we can't be good all the time, and it makes it even worse that you are beating yourself up over it. Chalk it up as a missed day, we are all allowed to have them and make today better damn it Meghan! Granted the conversation I had with myself was longer than that, but it really was during that hour on the treadmill that I realized if I am going to go through this journey it is going to have ups and downs, but if I let the downs get to me, I will never make the progress I truly want. I even started laughing because I started to wonder if Jillian Michael's ever has days when she eats a cheeseburger and how that would go over?! hahaha! Needless to say the 60 minutes flew by and 525 calories with it. I felt great in soo many ways afterwards. I really had found some sort of inner balance.

It was a quick battle, but one that I am glad that I had with myself, to understand and be okay that every day can not be perfect. If I want to have the cheeseburger, have the cheeseburger, it isn't the end of the world. By making the better choices most of the time, choosing the burger every once in the while really isn't as much of a bad thing as it could be. Life is definitely too short to always be worried about all the little things that don't matter, and in my book having a bad day eatting wise every once in a while is definitely a little thing that I am NOT going to worry about any more!  I WIN!

I'm actually laughing right now because a damn burger always keeps coming up in my blogs. I guess I just really like burgers! :)  Hope you have a great day!!!