What's holding you back?

I have a lot of friends both close friends and ones that I have met through MFP that are on their own similar journeys like mine. I have often wondered what their stories are. No one gets to be unhealthy, gains lots of weight, or even looses a bunch of weight without a story. Is it something they are willing to share, are they embarrassed about it, is it holding them back, is it something that they haven't realized yet? I know for me it has been a lot easier since I put everything out on the table, in public and no longer made it all a secret. It is not something that is easy to do. In fact at first I was very embarrassed. The blog I wrote where I shared the picture that I am very heavy was hard, but it was something I needed to do - Changing Looks - but I was scared to post it. I'm not saying that this is the answer for everyone, but I wonder if it is just not telling someone that is holding them back. If they are not letting themselves look at the problem straight in the face and recognize it how can they figure out how to fix it?

For me I realized that I gained all this weight, let myself go because ultimately I wasn't happy. I wasn't happy with my work, with my love life, with who I was becoming, and the direction my life was going. I has some good things going and hid behind those, but ultimately the things that made me unhappy greatly out weighted the things that made me happy. I started to realize that at the end of last year a little but, but it wasn't until this summer when I truly started to understand them and face them. I had already changed most of them so they no longer where a problem, but I never addressed the issues that caused them. I finally did that and it was almost like loosing 5 lbs immediately. I could breath better and those areas I could change even more than I already had.

I wonder what would have happen if I never took that leap of faith last year, if I had let my life stay the way it was? I am sure that I would have figured things out but to what extent? There are soo many "what ifs" and I know I just talked about not letting  yourself think about them but I am soo happy now that I can't imagine not being here. I know I still have a ways to go, I am not done, but I know that in 2 weeks I will be proud to see my friends and proud of where my life is. It is definitely headed in the right direction and that is what I am excited about.

I have 11 days until I leave on the 12th for Texas. I ABSOLUTELY can not wait to go. This was the reason I started this blog, this is the drive I have been keeping in the front of my mind and it is almost here. :) These next 11 days are going to be great!