Redirecting Motivation

Well I didn't start the week off well again. Seems to be a pattern lately. I didn't work out. Lunch came and I had a lot to do. 11:30 went by, then noon, and by 12:20 my stomach was yelling at me to feed it. I chose not to work out and told myself I would go to the YMCA after work since I am paying for it and not using it. Ya that didn't happen either. I had 2 errands to run after work and decided to add a third once I was out. By the time I was done it was 6:45pm and again my stomach was yelling at me. I at least did something good, I had dinner ready at home to be cooked and kept to that instead of stopping somewhere to pick something up, which I highly considered. It was a healthy meal too; grilled chicken breast, steamed broccoli and 1/2 a sweet potato. The other reason I couldn't go to the YMCA is that I left my gym bag at work. Okay that is another excuse, those are the running shoes I prefer but I have a back-up older pair at home I could have used. The problem is coming home and then going back out. Anyone who has tried that knows that that is almost an impossible task.

I have to stop convincing myself that it is okay to not work out. I'm not saying that I HAVE to work out, but it's also not okay to not work out. I need a happy medium and that is where I am struggling. I need to find a place where I am happy working out. Honestly it is the hurdle of getting back into it that I need to overcome. That is one of the hardest things to do, start up again. Once I get back into it I am confident I will get going again, I did it once before. The problem is getting there again. I need to just decide to do it and do it. BLAH! I also need to find the mind set again because I have lost it. :(  I will find it again, I know I will because I do want it. I just need to focus on that and feed off of it. Easier said than done is the problem.

After talking with my boyfriend last night, nothing special just our daily chat at night, I  realized that I let it get to me a bit too much Sunday night, being sad he left. I know everything will be fine, it's just that I wish I didn't have to miss him, that's really about it. I also know that I have let this take over other parts of my life lately too. I realized that yesterday and I really need to stop that. I have decided to take this as a challenge! I will see him in a month and then another 3 weeks after that - Can I get him to ask "How much have you lost? You look great!" haha! My goal is 155 lbs by the end of the year, it's definitely possible I just need the motivation so I am hoping that if I redirect my wallows into something positive it can work in advantage. Worth a try right?!!!