Here goes nothing...

Thank Goodness it is Friday! I am looking forward to this weekend - sleeping in and getting some errands and chores done. I know I am weird, I enjoy cleaning from time to time because I love when everything is organized and clean so it's worth it to me. It is just so calming. Plus we got our carpets cleaned yesterday so it will look especially clean! Yay!

On a completely different note - my sister pointed something out this week that was kind of amazing to me. One evening this week I was bringing in Maddie's new cat litter I bought at Sam's Club that is 42 pounds. I was struggling with it a little bit and stopped at her door on the way back to my room and made this comment: "It's hysterical to me I am struggling with this when I use to use 55lb dumbbells to do floor bench press in college with no problem!" She then asked me how much it weighted and I said 42lbs. She then told me it's even more impressive that you have lost almost that amount of weight you are holding. I thought about that for a second. The most I had lost was almost 35lbs at my lowest (I'm sitting at 30 right now), that's only 7lbs off what I was struggling to carry. I was huffing and puffing carrying that in from my car to my room yet I use to carry that around on me ALL THE TIME!

I went back to my room and changed out Maddie's litter box and then picked it back up. I probably poured out about 5-7lbs so it was probably now at the right amount now. I picked it up and put it in the laundry room where I keep it. It's hard to believe I lost THAT! I use to watch Biggest Loser all the time and one of the most rewarding shows for the contestants is near the end where they have to compete in a challenge where they put back on all the weight they have lost and as they reach check points they can take off what they had lost. It's definitely an emotional challenge for them as they realize what they have lost and what they are able to achieve now.

I have not lost 100lbs, but just holding that 35-42lbs in my hands did make it real, it did make what I have been working on seem tangible and it made me realize that what I still have left it worth it. Including re-losing the pounds I already lost and gained back I have about 14 pounds to go till I hit my goal. The truth is I wasn't sure if I could get there. I have been within the same 5lbs (160-165) since October last year. Maybe this is my maintenance weight? I have thought that for some time now. Well I also decided this week that I don't want for that to be the case and at least not give it a solid try to get down to 150lbs. I think part of it is believing that I can do it. I'm not sure if I really thought I could do it. I'm still struggling getting there mentally, but I also know it's something I want to try so why not?! This weekend I am going to try and make a plan for the next month. "Map out" if you will how to get under 160lbs in 4 weeks and then continue that on for the remaining 10lbs after that.

Here goes nothing...