Pat yourself on the back and say "Nice Job!"

There are some days that you just want to pat yourself on the back and say "Nice Job"... that was me today at lunch! :)  I went to lunch with a bunch of ladies from work at our favorite local Thai restaurant. (typically I don't go to lunch on Thursdays, but since today is my "Friday" I decided to act like it was and go to lunch) Their Pad Thai is FABULOUS and my usual so of course I got that, beef at a level 4. (I normally get a 3 out of 5, but I have been getting use to it and decided to step it up - glad I did too because it was that much better!) Out of the 7 of us, 5 got the Pad Thai, so that should tell you how good it is. It's a good size amount that I always gobble all up and am stuffed afterwards. Everyone ate it all BUT ME! I got about 2/3 of the way through and started to feel full. I know that it takes longer for your brain to recognize that you are full so I figured if I was sensing I was starting to get full, I probably really was so I stopped eating. I turned the fork so it wasn't facing me, asked the next person I saw for a box and held my hands in my lap until I got the box.

I feel great! I don't feel stuffed or uncomfortable after lunch like I do sometimes when I go out. I resisted the urge to finish everything on my plate; which for me is a big accomplishment. I have this problem where I think I HAVE to finish everything on my plate - where that came from I don't know. For me this is a definite Pat on the Back and "Nice Job" kind of moment!

Pissed off Crap Food

Today was one of those days at work that you can't wait for it to be over! I am one of those people that trusts people I guess too much, just assume the best in people and I wear my heart on my sleeve. It can all definitely come back to bite me in the ass, but hey that is just me and will always be who I am. I work hard and have fun you know? Today was a day that really tested me with people. I am one of those people that gets along with everyone but when people belittle, attack your work ethic, and are hypocrites straight to your face when you know the truth it's hard to keep a smile on your face. The part that really gets me the most is that I am letting this all get to me which I normally don't do.

Why am I telling you all of this? It is relevant because it is days like this, ones that you get pissed off where you throw everything out the window and drive up to drive thru and eat things you know you shouldn't. I really really wanted to go through Panda Express and get cream cheese ragoons, go through Pollo Tropical for sweet plantains and Chick-fil-a for a chicken sandwich w/honey mustard for dinner tonight! I know crazy, but they are all things that I crave and to get them all at once would have been amazing!

 I opted instead to pull into Chipotle and get a carnitas bowl, mostly veggies, no cheese or sauces. It was actually soo delicious, satisfying and relatively good for me. Definitely better than what I wanted to get! I popped open a Michelob Ultra to compliment it and yay dinner at home that leaves me feeling good about what I ate. I am really proud of myself for choosing something so much better than I would have done in the past. I don't need crap food to make me feel better temporarily. Instead I am going to draw a bubble bath, light a candle, turn some comforting music on, and turn off anything electronic (phone too) to turn the world off for a bit. Nothing like some relaxing time to yourself to bring yourself back from a slump.  

PS - Worked out this afternoon! :) Didn't want to but got through it and felt better on the other side. :) I am starting to really like that feeling.

The Ball & Chain is winning... for now

You may remember that last week I decided to try tracking what I eat just for calories and serving sizes if available. (You can read the blog here if you missed it - "Ball & Chain or Realisitc Challenege") Well the "Ball & Chain" is definitely winning. I wrote down Monday - Thursday breakfast last week, however, didn't really write in the #'s. There are a couple like 75 calories per hard boiled egg, however, I really didn't do a very good job. The difficulty is I don't want to look up all the calorie amounts and so forth. I also struggle when it is something homemade, how do you know what you ate calorie wise? I know you can add up all the ingredients and then divide it roughly by how many servings it makes - but that is sooo much work! Okay I'm making excuses I know, but it's the honest reason I am not doing this.

A good friend of mine, the same one that pushes my butt down in the gym Monday-thursday, which by the way we had a AWESOME workout today! I feel great afterwards, challenging, yet rewarding when finished, I liked it! Anyway, this friend told me about the DailyPlate on the livestrong website. If you haven't checked it out yet you really should it is actually a really cool website. (Click here to go to the LiveStrong DailyPlate) At first I was having a hard time finding the cottage cheese that I use, but if you type in the brand name, and then click on it when the results apear, it will give you all the liste types for that brand - pretty cool! Oh did I mention that you put in your information at the beginning, age, sex, height, weight, what your goal is (PS - one of the options is gain 2lbs a week here - I would like to meet the person, especially female that this is their goal!) and your daily activity level (excluding exercise) and it calculates the max amount of calories you are allowed to have - AWESOME! Apparently my target # is 1780 calories per day max. Wow thinking about what I use to eat, the 3000-3500 (read here about it - Behind theIssue(s)) that's soo little, but compared to what I did then and now I think that is probably right, I just have to readjust my thinking of what is "normal". We'll see how it goes.

So here is the plan, I am going to give the DailyPlate on LiveStrong a try this week and see how things go. So far today I have eaten 688 calories and burned 326 calories (granted the crunches aren't factored in because I can't figure out how to get them added in). I'm okay with today so far, could do better always though!!

I'll let you know next week how the DailyPlate goes!

I don't do early morning workouts!

Something that I have discovered over the past 4 years is that there is basically nothing that I will get up for at 5-something in the morning for, ESPECIALLY working out! I did that shit for a long, long time and no part of me wants to do that again. Actually in high school I was up at 4:15am 3 times a week, where in college it was "sleeping in" that I didn't have to be up until 5:38. Yes I timed that alarm clock down to the minute, because I needed 6 minutes to be out the door and as long as I was out the door by 5:45 at the latest, I could be diving in the water by 6am. Today, I have a hard time waking up for work when my alarm goes off. I set it for 6:25 knowing that I will hit the snooze button until 6:45-7am, and it goes off every 5 minutes. Now does that sound like a person that wants to get up even earlier and go work out?! Ya you have to be kidding yourself if you think that is going to happen!

What I have found is that I really enjoy working out during my lunch break at work. My best friend at work feels the same way about mornings and has a little girl so working out in the evenings proves to be difficult for her. Myself, I just want to relax after work, but does taking the dog for a walk count? I know what my sister is going to say here though - "You could take him for a walk more often you know!!" Anyway, my point is that I have a friend at work to work out with me during our lunch breaks, and everyone knows how much easier it is to work out if you have a friend to do it with. We have a small gym at work that we use when it is too damn hot outside. Don't get too excited as it is tiny with very little, but we make it work. We both like working out in the middle of the day because it's a great way to break up the work day and it makes it go by so much faster. Sure I have to eat lunch at my desk, but it is definitely worth it and I enjoy the work out. We did a lot of this at the beginning of the year when I was training for my first 5K. However, since then, which was the end of March, we really haven't done too much.

Two weeks ago we decided that we would work out Monday-Thursday, 2 days cardio and 2 days body weights, strengthening, abs, etc. The first week we did that and OMG my body HATED ME! I haven't been that sore since our trainer in college for swimming would put us through circuits at the beginning of the year. The OMG I'm so sore I can't squat all the way down to pee so you fall the last couple of inches hoping that won't hurt as much as squatting down the rest of the way. HAHA! Then last week my friend got sick and wasn't able to work out, and well I will chalk it up to not having enough motivation to work out by myself yet and didn't do anything. This week we went back at it today. I really wish last week I had worked out because as much as I dread it every day, I really feel better now after working out than I did this morning. I might bitch and whine my way through it, but it's just my way of getting through the work out successfully.

I really am thankful for my friend because she is helping me through this journey, she is helping me stay motivated, and helping me get into the gym and work out. It might not be much right now, but it is baby steps to get me back into wanting to work out, wanting to feel the burn and pain again. Granted, my abs, butt, and legs might hate her tomorrow after that lower body work out we had today, but it's all good and she knows I love her for it anyway! :)  Thanks girl!!!

Weekend Conquer

The weekends always seem to be harder for me than during the week. I bring my lunch basically everyday to work so I don't have choices knocking on every door like during the weekend; the choices are endless I swear. The choices are where I can get in trouble, letting myself pick between the good and the bad. We have all been taught since we were little what is right and what is wrong, good and bad, things we should and shouldn't do, so why do some of us not translate this over to our food decisions? I know I struggle with it.

Remember my cheeseburger craving not to long ago (you can read about it here if you missed it)? I had a FANTASTIC burger tonight! Cheeseburgers are one of those foods that is just a comfort food and can be done in so many different ways. My boyfriend and I didn't know what we wanted for dinner, so we went to the grocery store to see what was on sale. We knew we wanted to grill out but that was about it. They had 93-7 ground sirloin on sale and cheeseburgers it was. I got reduced fat swiss (swiss cheese is my favorite on burgers), "better for you" buns, and a tomato. We also got some corn and potatoes to make some healthier homemade steak fries (better than buying fries from the freezer section). I really felt good about dinner tonight! I like having that feeling, especially when it is something that I love eating. I am full but not stuffed. I am a big supporter of not cutting out types of foods (like carbs, certain meals, etc), it's about learning how to take what you like and make better and healthier choices so you can continue to enjoy it.

Definitely makes up for the 3 pieces of DiGiorno pizza and cookies I had last night! That's okay because I worked out and made up for it. That's how I am justifying it in my mind and I am sticking to it! hahaha! :)

Didn't Have to Roll Me Out!

You know that feeling you get after you eat something that is bad for you and you know you shouldn't have eaten it? Ya I DIDN'T GET THAT AFTER MEXICAN YESTERDAY!!! Yippie! The best part too is that it was good and satisfying and I didn't leave feeling like I was still craving Mexican. One of the things I hate about "choosing the right healthy option" is that when you finish eating it you crave the unhealthy thing you really wanted to begin with. Not last night, not at all!

We sit down and order margaritas. They are 2 for 1 so I get on the rocks no salt like normal. They aren't very big, seriously it's like 5oz maybe because of all the ice and they aren't very big glasses to begin with. They bring chips and salsa and yes of course I ate them, I already discuss this as a "problem" for me. I will NEVER pass up on chips and salsa, in fact the day that I do, someone take me to the hospital something is wrong with me! However, I was good, we shared 1 bowl got another but it came out with out food and I barely touched it. Yay me! :)

Dinner, I read that menu like I have never read a menu at a Mexican restaurant. I found these grilled chicken enchiladas, but they were corn tortillas and just the grilled chicken inside. On top was a tomatillo green sauce and a white cheese sauce. I asked them to please remove the cheese sauce completely and add red sauce. Oh my the combo was soo delicious! It wasn't drenched either in sauce which was great. I asked for some lettuce and put it on top for some crunch and that was the best idea too. There were 4 enchiladas, I could only make it through 2 1/2 and I was full! It was great because I LOVE enchiladas and red sauce and I got to have them, but a much healthier version then the typical cheese or beef ones that I get with flour tortillas and lots of cheese.

I have never left a Mexican restaurant so satisfied, not feeling like I had to be rolled out, or that I ate a million calories. It was fabulous! I am looking forward to going back to a Mexican restaurant again soon. :)

PS - Thanks to everyone that sent me ideas on what to order. I may have to give them a try in the near future.

Healthy Mexican?

This evening I am set to go eat Mexican with my boyfriend. I LOVE Mexican... but then again who doesn't? The issue I am having, and I quote my friend "how do you chose the salad over the enchiladas"? Not to mention as Cooking Light says in an article about what to eat at Mexican restaurants: "margaritas, salsa, and chips (a combination quite possibly created by the culinary gods)" - How do you pass up that combination? Part of the reason we are going today is because of the 2 for 1 margs until 6 or 7pm. You also cannot NOT have chips and salsa when you are at a Mexican restaurant! Hello best free app ever! :) Not to mention it is one of my favorite things of all time, seriously I can eat the heck out of some chips and salsa any day!

Okay so I did some searching online to find out what I shouldn't eat when it comes to Mexican and here is what I found out:

1. Make sure you pick a soft tortilla since they are baked and not crispy because they have been fried, but if you can have corn always take that choice. (Shouldn't be too hard since crispy taco shells are my least favorite, but I do love a good chalupa).
2. Always choose the black beans over the refried beans. (Not a problem I like black beans better anyway).
3. Selecting salsa as a starter, topping, garnish or side and you'll know you're making the right choice as long as you use it in moderation. (The moderation part will be the hard part for me, I LOVE salsa).
4. Try to avoid cheese as much as possible, as you know they are not using low-fat versions, however, you can always ask for low-fat. Pick the grilled meats over ground, pulled, etc as these will always have less fat.
5. Red or green sauces are better than white sauces.
6. I found the below list and thought I would share since it is a good quick resource.

LOWER CALORIE FOODS:               HIGHER CALORIE FOODS:
Gazpacho                                                 Tortilla chips

Corn tortillas with salsa                             Nachos with cheese

Ceviche                                                    Flour tortillas

Chicken fajitas                                          Chorizo

Enchiladas                                                Carnitas

Camarones de hacha                                Refried beans

Arroz con pollo                                        Quesadillas with cheese
Cheeseless burritos                                   Beef tacos

Grilled fish or chicken breast                     Burritos with cheese

Frijoles a la charra                                    Beef and cheese enchilada

Borracho beans and rice                          Chimichangas

Soft chicken taco                                     Sour cream and guacamole

Chicken tostada                                       Frozen margaritas and pina coladas

Salsa, pico de gallo, and cilantro
Jalapeno peppers
From: http://www.tinajuanfitness.info/articles/032205.htm (Has the same Good/Bad for other types of food like Chinese, Italian, French, etc!)




I also found some great tips for both eating out and cooking at home Mexican Food on the LiveStrong.com website: http://www.livestrong.com/article/345747-mexican-food-guide-to-healthy-eating/

I will let you know how it goes! :) I am at least armed and prepared now.

Behind the Issue(s)

I have had a few questions from those that did not know me when I was swimming as to why I have the issue(s) with food that I have. I decided that including a "personal about me" blog to explain this, to give some background into why I am doing this blog would be beneficial and justified.

First you have to know that swimming was my choice as a young kid. My parents "threw me" into the water when I was a year old, put me in swim lessons when I was 2-3 and by the time I was 3 I could dive down 14 feet and retrieve dive rings. Many a lifeguards jumped in after me! I joined my first summer league team when I was 5 and USS team (competitive league) when I was 6. They also put me in other sports, but by the time I was in middle school swimming was my life.

I swam for 16 years of my life; 5 to 21 when I retired and finished swimming. If you do not know much about swimming, swimmers work out ALL the time! They are in the water sometimes 2 times a day for hours each time, lift weights, and do "dryland" (it's what swimmers call conditioning). Swimmers bodies become machines and can look that way. However, women swimmers definitely can look "bulky" compared to other high level athletes like runners or cyclists. I was definitely one of those girls my whole life; a bulky girl. My genes give me a 'big bone" frame and I will definitely NEVER be a petite woman and I am okay with that as that is not what I am looking for in the slightest.

I struggled through college with knee problem, self-esteem issues, and confidence in swimming from the beginning of my freshman year through my junior year. Finally my senior I overcame A LOT and decide to meet with the sports nutritionist to give myself the best shot to do well and she put me on a special "diet" just for me. My "diet"was to eat 3000-3500 healthy calories (yes you read that correctly), eat my body weight in grams of protein and carbs (140-145g), and make sure that I was getting ALL my servings of fruits and veggies every day. That was a diet I had to consciously work at to make sure I was hitting the targets, but it soon became second nature to me. I started losing weight and building lean muscle right away and got down to the smallest I had been in probably 6-8 years. I weighed 135lbs, had 15.9% body fat (which was the lowest I had ever been in college and for me was TINY!) and was in the best shape of my life.

I finished swimming in March of 2007 and I struggled from that point forward with eating. How do you go from eating 3000-3500 calories a day and working out enough to burn all that plus more off to doing nothing and trying to only eat 1200-1500 calories? I STARVED FOR MONTHS! Not because I didn't eat, but because I knew I couldn't allow myself to eat the 3000+ calories a day without working out like a did before, so I didn't let myself eat that much. My body had to adjust to the less food intake and it didn't like it at all. I finally gave in and ate what I wanted after a while. I kept this up and didn't work out for 4 years! Yes again you read that right, I didn't work out for 4 years! 16 years of CRAZY working out and I wanted to be done with exercise. I didn't have the motivation any longer to work out, I didn't like working out by myself, I didn't like working out just to work out, there was nothing to train for anymore, so what was the point?

I had been drilled for years on what was good to eat and what wasn't and I threw that out the window! Granted I can't eat like I use to, I could eat an entire large pizza when I was swimming and not think twice about it because I knew I would burn it off the next morning. Now I can't eat the whole pizza but I can polish off half if I let myself, and have let myself. I still have a big appetite and LOVE to eat. I can eat all day all the time and love all food! That’s my problem, I still eat kinda like I did when I was swimming but I don’t burn the calories like I use to. I don’t know how to eat like a normal person. I have never eaten like a normal person before, ever!

I got on the scale last year and it said 194lbs! (That is the 1st time I have ever told ANYONE that #) I couldn’t believe I had let myself get that out of control. Someone that was so discipline, someone that was so driven and excited about life let themselves slip and gain basically 60lbs. I told myself that I would change right then. I lost 13lbs for my best friend’s wedding in November – still was the heifer of the bridesmaids. I HATE the pictures because I feel like I screwed them up because I was popping out of my dress and just looked bad. I didn’t look happy and I hated that! I have since started running and working out more. I have only lost 4lbs since and that is frustrating! I have however toned up and leaned out which is good and have even been asked how much I have lost. I never have told the number since it is only 4, but reply with “thank you, it’s a work in progress”.

This is the reason that I started the blog, the frustration behind not being able to lose weight, the frustration with not being able to still control eating, the frustration with not being to understand portion control and being honest about what I am doing about all of it. Swimming was my choice and if I had to do it all over I would do it again. I don’t blame swimming, I just know that it is a huge part of the issues I am dealing with now. This is a work in progress like I have said, but the journey does excite me and is now what is motivating me. You have to be honest and that is my diet now! :)

Ball & Chain or Realistic Challenge?

Writing down exactly what you put into your mouth everyday - Ball & Chain or Realistic Challenge? I tried Weight Watchers and the one thing that eventually got me was having to track everything. I know it wasn't calories, but it was figuring out points and keeping track of them, eessentially the same thing in my book at counting calories. I felt like I was connected to a Ball & Chain and it was controlling me. After talking to a good friend she pointed out that "PORTION CONTROL is ensuring you have accountability for what you’re eating and if you don’t write it down you’re not going to know what your intake is.. it’s not ball and chain its part of the process of ensuring you don’t over indulge – hence your BBQ dinner overeating adventure (just sayin)" Okay she makes a valid point so I am going to try this "Realistic Challenge" and write down everything that I put into my mouth this week. I will record the calorie count and how many servings I ate (if info is available) and just see what a normal week for me is. I do agree with her that it will be a lot higher than I expect.

If anything it should help me figure out portion control whether I chose to stick with it afterwards. Wish me good luck!!!

Portion Control is my Mt. Everest

Yesterday I realized that I can preach all day about portion control and that I have to change that, but that is exactly where my problem lies - I don't know how to make myself portion control with good food! I decided to make a meal in "honor" of my dad for Father's Day since I couldn't be with him. I made BBQ chicken on the charcoal grill, slow cooked it on indirect heat and smoked them too! OMG they were delicious! That wasn't the problem. The problem is that I had a ear of corn that was also cooked on the grill, a large helping of potato salad and coleslaw, and 2 pieces of Texas toast. The only thing that makes me feel better is everywhere that I could make up calories, fat, etc I did. Lite Mayo and very very little, lite Texas toast (which by the way tastes better than the regular because you actually taste the bread), Ultra beer, etc... I just ate too much! I was soo full afterwards but it was soo good! I wish I had eaten about 1/2 of what I did and I would have still enjoyed the food. Oh well too late now.

What I also have to learn is that I can't snap my fingers and everything be perfect all the time. That my bad habits will go away just like that. I am happy that I am recognizing these things though and bringing them to my attention. I just need to remember them while I am eating. What is helpful is there have been quite a few people that have told me they know exactly what I am going through and that they were able to change. One of my friends lost 40lbs in 4 months just by portion control and exercise! WOW that is inspiring and makes me realize I can do this. I found the link (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/portion-control/NU00267  at our local Mayo Clinic that does a pretty good job showing correct portion sizes for common foods comparing them to everyday items. It's not about always measuring out your food, it's about understanding what a portion/ serving size is and doing your best to stay within that range.

Weekends are hard...

Weekends can prove diffiecult to eat healthy at times. I decided to start mine off right this Saturday with lunch since I slept through breakfast. I had some vine ripe tomatoes, good part-swim monzeralla cheese, and homegrown basil on my patio - made an awesome salad with all listed, salt,pepper, orengno, garlic powder, and oil & vinger. Delicous and I am really full but don't feel grossly stuffed.

I got to thinking today about eating healthy and losing weight, you know it's not even really about only eating healthy, it's about portion control. I had this huge salad for lunch, 2 tomatoes, lots of basil and some cheese. I loaded up on the tomatoes to fill myself up and it really worked. I didn't go crazy on the cheese, I sliced it super thin and cut it up in small pieces, so even though it looked like "a lot of cheese" it really wasn't. A lot of eating is visual and if you can "trick" yourself a little bit then go for it if it is going to hellp you in the longer run. I made pototoe salad for dinner this weekend when I make BBQ grilled chicken. I substituted mayo with lite mayo and used less than they said and put whole grain mustard with it to get the moisture I needed. I used gold potatoes instead of baked to cut out some starch, and the best bacon i could find not going to turkey. If I take a "normal" scoop and don't get seconds of it, I can enjoy something that I love and not feel bad about eating it. :)

I just have to be conscience what I eat and I think I can do this in 4 months! :) Thanks for all the support so far.

I got my burger!

Sometimes you just have to squash cravings or they get out of control. This burger craving was still killing me 4 days later so for lunch I headed to Chili's Bar & Grill with a friend from work and enjoyed an Oldtimer with swiss cheese (my favorite). Only bad part was they put mustard on it, but it definitely didn't bother me too much so I went for it anyway. DELIOUSNESS is all that can come to mind... oh and a full belly.

I am a happy girl... I didn't touch the french fries because I had some chips and dip. :) Gotta compromise somewhere right?!

Happy Friday!!!

Why do I eat that Crap?

Everyone has the mid-afternoon "hunger demons"! You know it's 2:30-3pm, lunch is wearing off and you are getting a tad bored at work so your mind goes to "I am hungry - give me food!" Of course healthy snacks doesn't do the trick, you start craving potato chips, chocolate, slice of pizza, whatever else isn't good for you. Well 3pm yesterday I got a hunger demon and tried to waive it off, but at 3:30 dug into my leftover watermelon from lunch. It was a good choice but didn't quite kill the demon...

At 5:15 I leave work and head to Sam's Club for the cheap gas (is it sad that I am referring to $3.54 as cheap?), the pharmacy, and a other few things. On the way out I swing into the "cafe" and buy a slice of pizza that doesn't even look good but that damn demon was still alive. I didn't even think twice and didn't realize I even was getting it until I am in my car and biting into the greasy not good at all slice of pizza. I remember thinking it didn't taste good and there I go biting into it again for the 2nd time. I then put it down and am like no i can't eat that, it's soo bad for me, doesn't even taste good, why am I eating this. I take off home and at the first stop light, I find myself ripping off a piece and trying it again. Gross! I finally fold it in half with the plate, reaching behind my seat for the Publix bag I use for trash, throwing it in there and tying the bag shut.

Why do I do these things to myself, eat to eat and especially with food that isn't even good?! I actually felt sick to my stomach when I got home and made a small salad to counteract the yukiness I felt. Oh well lesson learned if I actually will listen!

"Hunger Demon"

Yes I am 2 sizes - Thank You

One of my best friends is getting married at the end of the year - SOO EXCITED and CAN'T WAIT! I am of course a bridesmaid and therefore have to get a bridesmaid dress. I missed the dress shopping last weekend, even though thanks to picture-mail I got to be included. Wow she looks amazing! But I also missed the everyone try on the bridesmaids dresses to see which is best. No biggie I have a Daivd's Bridal here. So last night I had a bit of time to kill and decided to get it over with. I walk in and the lady that finds the dress/wedding in the system so they get you the right dress marks me down as an 8 - love her but wow she is BAD at her job if she thinks I am an 8! I start laughing when the sales lady then hands me a 8, ya no! I tell her I'm hoping that the 12 fits me. She goes away nd returns with the 12. I try is on, stupid big back from swimming and big boobs, it won't zip past that the widest part around me. Okay go get the 14 please. It zips up - thank God! I decide to get the 14 and go to the check out to order it in the right color and everything. They tell me that it will take 12 weeks to get in, enough time for the wedding, but not enough time to reorder if incorrect so they have to take my measurements. Okay lets get this over with. One lady measures while the order puts them in the system. Apparently David's Bridal now has a profile on me with my measurements, great! Anyway, she then looks at the chart to make sure it is the right size, makes a funny look and asks me if I knew I was 2 sizes, a 10 in the waist and hips and a 14 up top. I look at her and really want to say, yes no shit that is why I had to bump up a size because it wouldn't zip up up top. She then goes, I see a lot of 1 size differences, but 2 isn't too common. Yes thank you I appreciate it, I am a strange one... looks like alterations are in my future.

Oh well I think I look really pretty and the dress is flattering so I'm all good! The color seen is not the color of the dress for the wedding but it is pretty. :) I can't wait to get it and it be way too big. That's the goal! :)

PS - No mini sliders last night so the cheeseburger craving is still an alive monster!

The cheeseburger always looks better!

Yesterday afternoon I brought my lunch, all healthy with a multigrain sandwich with low-sodium ham and turkey and cheese with sprouts and banana peppers and a bunch of grapes on the side. I actually was excited about my lunch until one of the ladies I work invited me to a local place, "Chowder Ted's" for lunch. Another lady was like I can't wait to have a big juicey burger and the one that asked me replied with she was going to have the local catch of the day grilled sandwich and was hoping it was tuna or grouper. OMG I wanted the burger! I stayed and ate my good for you sandwich and grapes and pouted the whole time! Whatever it is good for me right?!

Yesterday evening I made homemade chicken noodle soup. I mean homemade as in I made the chicken broth in a pressure cooker with chicken bones, veggies, etc. It took 2.5 hours but was really good! However again while I was eatting it I started craving a cheeseburger. Damn you cheeseburger craving!

Today for lunch I met my mentor for lunch at Moe's and had tacos. Did you know you can look it up online and figure out what you ingested? I haven't done that with Moe's before. I was pretty happy with my choice today in terms of nutritional information. However, I still am craving that burger. I almost stopped at Wendy's by my work on the way back.

Tonight I have a social even that has food and it's typically finger foods. I am hoping for mini sliders! haha! I am definitely going to have to make a burger this weekend. I figure if i control it I can make a tasty not soo bad for you burger right? Anyone have any good recipes? I would prefer to stay beef since I am craving a burger soo badly and that is the only thing that is going to kill it.

Damn you cheeseburger!

Day #1

Today I am going to be honest about what I eat and what I am doing to not only myself but to those that I care about and to those I don't even know. I am a 25 year old female who is 5'6" and weighs 178.6lbs. According to my BMI tracker at the bottom of my blog I am obese. I wear size 12 pants and large tops (medium t-shirts).  I just started working out for the first time in 4 years at the beginning of this year. I have lost approx 15lbs in the past 6 months. I use to be a D1 swimmer and was a size 6, occasionally 4 and in amazing shape weighing about 135-145lbs. I eat all the time and I know it isn't the healthiest and I eat out a lot so that doesn't help wit hthe healthy part. I am not unhappy when I look into a mirror, but I do wish that I saw something better. I am going to try being honest and have accountability over the next 4 months!

I am trying to eat healthier at breakfast and not only healthy, but ones that will keep me full until lunch so I do snack on crappy, junk food inbetween. The cottage cheese is the one that is getting me. I use to HATE it, but in the past year I have learned to like it. However, I learned to like the full fat ones, especially the large curd but the bad part is that it's not the greatest for you so I bought the low-fat 1% kind. Tastes a little bland but I am hoping I can learn to like it and have it more of a staple in my diet.

Is it bad that I am craving a chicken bicuit from Chick-fil-a right now?